Flashback

So I was just sitting around and thinking about how crazy it is that on Friday it will have been a year since I auditioned in Quebec. I haven’t really thought about it in a while, but that day, one year ago, really changed my life.

A year ago, I didn’t know what I wanted. I had gone through the process of visiting and re-visiting colleges. I spent hours at my computer, checking and re-checking admissions websites. I sat with my friends in the counseling center at school reading and re-reading the facts about our favorite schools in every possible college book.

But at the same time I was training. I was listening to and re-listening to every song in my iTunes. I was watching and re-watching any video I ever found inspiring. And I was writing and re-writing the act I would perform at the Quebec Circus School.

When I auditioned last year I didn’t know what to expect. I knew how the audition was structured thanks partially to my friends who were already in the school and partially to a friend’s blog who had gone through the audition the year before. But what I didn’t know was how it would go. I remember auditioning for musicals when I was little was very hit or miss. I have a hard time not letting my nerves take a hold of me. Plus there was the whole “not being able to speak French” thing. In the end, I slowly became less and less terrified as the day went on and I decided just to go for it.

What’s really funny, is I can go back and read all about how the audition went and how I felt afterwards because I have this blog! It made me realize just how much I struggled with the decision of what to do with my life. I remember being soooo excited to be accepted to my top choice college. I put the letter on my fridge and started planning out which t-shirts and sweatshirts and sweatpants and coffee cups and stickers I would buy to display my new school spirit. And then I got an e-mail. It was very simple. It’s subject was simply, “auditions”. I remember reading it right as I was supposed to be leaving for work. I remember jumping up and down when I read, “We are happy to announce you that we invite you to join our preparatory training program for the next season 2012-2013″.  I couldn’t even believe it! I mean, of course I had let myself think about how cool it would be to tell people I had actually gotten into circus school but I also knew that there were only so many spots for a lot of hopefully auditionees. But when I actually made my decision, I knew that it was the one I had wanted to make all along.

And now here I am. I’ve been in circus school for about 6 months now (end of August – beginning of March) and it’s definitely had it’s up’s and down’s. Now comes the next hurdle. As a prep student, I have to audition again to get into the DEC program which is 3 years long. I can’t believe how much has changed since I last auditioned. I’m actually excited to present my number this year. It’s much more “me” than any other number I’ve presented or any act I’ve performed. To me that represents the fact that I’ve gone from going to someone who loves doing circus to someone who wants to become a circus artist.

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